

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 

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UNITED STATES OE AMERICA. | 



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HENNESSEY, OE LAKE 

COUNTY, 


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PRESERVED WHEELER, 


Aiiflior of ‘•'From Side StrJets and Foidevards. 

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.gfwASHjS: 


Antioch, Illinois, 

Burke & Storms, Publishers. 
1 094 . 


Dcdirafedto JOHX J. BURKE. 

By his Since] e I^'ricnd, 

THE A urn OR. 


COPYRIGHTED 1894 

BY Preserved Wheeler 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 




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JOIIX J. /vr/v’A'A. 

Si'll ior Pitblislii'r Aiitiorh A]’7i>s. 



J. //. STOAWS, 

Junior Publisher Antioch Nc%os. 


I 


7 




IIKXNESSFA\ OF LAKE COUNrY. 


Hennessey Meets a Friend. 

The month of Noveml)er is often a eantakerons, blustering-, 
ill-favore l month. It is ca|)al)le of more mean tricks than any 
other month of the year. When it comes to Chicago it puts on 
its very worst manners, being ngly and morose beyond 
description. 

Mr. Hennessey and November, meeting each other one day 
nj)On a street on the West Side, had it hand to hand struggle over 
-a market l)asket. November, with the aid of a disagreeably 
nipping wind, made efforts to wrest this l»asket from Hennessey’s 
grasp. That stont Irishnmn. resenting the nnwarrantalde inter- 
ference. held the basket lirmly and adjure 1 the wind in this 
fashion : 

‘•Yez wnd. wnd ye/, bad ce-is till ye/, can’t ye/ let a dacint 
mon alone? More p.artickler whin he's an his wa-ay to git the 
mate an vigetables fer a iligant Oirish sthew. Let me see.’’ 
continned Hennessey, spreading the fingers of his left hand before 
liim. and looking at them (‘arnestly, “me thnmb is fer the onions, 
Mollie se/ till me; ‘Fer the love av Hivin don’t fergit the 
onions!’ me firrnst finger is fer the carrots, the nixt is tlu* 
))raties. the thirrnd is the mate, an the forrnth is the ” 

At this point the wind, taking advantage of the old man’s 
abstraction, canght the basket from his hand and whirled it 
rapidly across the street. The old man chased after it and 
captured it, muttering: “Curse this Avenyer anyhow!” I'lie 
street in which this scene occnm'd is mimed liaw Avenue, a 
singular misnomer, as the street is much celebrated in West Side 
police annals for tin' ainonnt of law breaking ])racticed there. 
Immediately after this. Hennerssey, coming to where Twelfth 
Street intersects this classic region, confronti'd his old em'iny the 


c? 


//KX^YKSSKY, OF LA XE COIXTY. 


wind once more. It was snrely a very imp of a wind, for, as 
Hennessey attempted to pass tlie corner, the wind seemed to turn 
a donltle somersault, and. yrahhin^’ n]> a handfnl of leaves and 
dirt, threw them in the oM man’s face. Upon this corner stood 
a saloon much })atronized l)y Hennessey at times. He was ]>ass- 
ino' this place with a strono- sense of moral rectitude, hein^- tirmly 
determined to spend every cent in his pocket npon materials for 
the Irish stew. Why a sense of moral rectitude shonld make a 
man ])articnlarly a-”'ressive. is hard to explain, hnt it fre(inently 
does. I'he leaves and dirt coming' nnex|>ectedly on the old man’s 
o])tics, rather hlinded him. and the sudden hirching- of a stout 
fiii’ure ao’ainst him at this juncture, was more than enouj^-li to 
start his ire. \>’ith his nuoccui)ied hand he dealt a heavy blow 

npon the half seen ol)ject. At once the air was rent with shrill 
cries of: 



Hennessey's vision clearing, he beheld a large, good-natured 
Dutchman, very mnch under the intluence of Ii(pior. blinking at 
him and slowly rubbing that portion of his anatomy where Hen- 
nessey’s blow had landed. 

•'No ofHnse. no othnse!" cried Himnessey. unable to restrain 
some hoarse laughter over the ])itial)le sight pn'stmted by bis 
Teutonic adversary, d'he old man hastened on. much to the dis- 
a.p]»ointment of the street gamins, who had instantly clustered 
about to witness the fun. 

On Law Avenue, a short distance from d’welfth Stri'et. stands 
a peculiar-looking grocery store. It was originally a dwelling 
house: the changes necessary to render it a place of ljusiness, have 
resulted in an extraordinary and mongrel style of architecture. 
It s(]uats down between its neighlioring l)uildings like a stout 
dwarf. A sign, disproportionately large for the size of the edihcm 
blears n[)On it in immense letters the name of (Quinlan, .ludging 
by the prices written on ])lacards adorning all tin' commodities in 


9 


//K.VXKSSEY. OF LAXE COCXTY 


the windows and front of Mr. Qninlan'.s store, it wonld appear 
that he was willino- to make extraordinary sacrifices for the good 
of his fellow man. as everything purported to l)e “under actual 
value.” Hennessey panse-i before this tempting array of choice 
vegetaf)les. fiuits. etc., took an eye inventory of stock, prepara- 
tory to invading those domains. Mr. Quinlan, true to his 
nationality, had an eye to Imsiness. and using this eye through 
his begrimed window on the enraptured Mr. Hennessey, came 
forth to parley with him. The onions, praties, and so forth, 
changed hands after some lively interchanges of mother wit. 
Hennessey steppied inside the store to receive his change. As he stood 
there, gazing af)sent-mindedly in the direction of the door, the 
expression of his face suddenly altered to one of intense astonish- 
ment. A tall raw boned figure was slowly entering the commer- 
cial paradise. The figure was an ungainly, an awkward one. 
The man who owned it might pmssibly have been in his seventieth 
year, his vivacity of expression and quizzical kindness of look, 
made him appear younger. 

■•Begorra.” muttered Hennessey. “Oi’ve hearrud thim 
sphake av Hammelet. an his father’s sperritt. but this liates me! 
howsumiver ef this chap has wan eye gone, thin be all the Saints 
it must lie ould Dave Bates an no other mon.” 

d'he warm hearted Irishman reached his friend with three 


strides, and clasping his hand kindly, though tremnlonsly. said: 
•dfates. onld mon. how do yez foind yersilf. an how is all me 
Antioch f rinds?” 

ddiere was a tremor in Hennessey’s voice, a sns])icion of 
moisture in his eye. as he stood holding Bates’ hand. 

Bates shook his hand with unfeigned i)leasnre. "Wal. wal. 
he exclaimed, “yer'e aright smart of a man yit Hennessey. T 
can't jest reckon how many years sence I seen you before, lint its 
a long time. 1 wan’t never thinkin I’d ever see yon agen. As 
fer Antioch, why man the changes there is snrprisin. But set 


10 


IIEXXKSSEW OE LAKE COLXTV. 


down here on these harl’s. settin’s cheap as standin. ye know. 

The two men seating- themselves, gazed at eacli other in si- 
lence tor a tew moments. At length Hennessey said, with a. 
(]niver in his voice. 

■“Whin Oi look at yez. Dave Bates, me moind goes so tar 
back that Oi’m in the fields around me brothur’s house, or rowin 
across the wather to Cedar Oisland to chase a wounded teal, or 
standin hesoide yersilt. young an sthrong wance more, to watch 
yez diggin wells. Mony’s the hour Oi’ve watched yez at worruk; 
share yez must have dug most av the wells in Laake tlonnty.” 

Bates shook his head inonrntn I ly. “My well diggin days is 
over,” he said. “ ’tis a well they’ll he diggin ter Dave Bates soon. 
Yonr old triends in Antioch is passin away tast now. Old Bil 1 
Ring has been very sick.” 

“Bill Ring!” exclaimed Hennessey, “slmre he ns’t to kape a 
sthore.” 


“Yes,’’ assented Bates, ‘-his store us’t to he where .Tolmnie 
Perkins and old Iry Webb’s boys be now.” 

“Well do Oi remimber that sa-ame Bill Ring,” continued 
Hennessey, “in the ould toimes he us't to hev to go dear fo Nuw 
Yorruk. twoice a year, ter his goods, him an ould Rob Strang. 
Oi kin inointl well how Ring ns’t to snhiff at the tanners' l)ntther 
an say. “only tin cints ter that,’ whoile the divvle a pound av 
tay wild he sell less thin a dollar. He wintout av thraide twinty 
years ag-o. an wint intil poletics. an was elicted Su[)ervisor siv- 
eral toimes. Oi hearrud sence, he ma-ade a illigent figgier an 
the county lioarrnd.” 

“All that was years an years ago.” said Bates, “Ring’s ben 
livin on his money this many a day.” 

“Iry Welib!'* exclaimed Hennessey, “Slmre an Oi remimber 
that sa-ame ould Iry W^elib very well, he nst to lie an anctioneere 
in the ould toimes an had a party shrude hed an his shoulders. Oi 
tell you. An do his byes be in thrade now V”enqnircd Hennessey'. 



•• The Siiur/e 7'own of Antioch." 


//KAWKSSEY. OF LA /YE COrN'EV. 


12 


•‘Yes.*’ answered Bates, “they keej) a ^ood stock and do a 
oood business, and there is few more ]>opnlar men in the comity 
tlian Webb Bros, k Perkins.” 


‘■Perkins." mnsial Henra'sscy. 
an liim liefore.” 


■‘slum' an ( )i niver lierd tell 


“No.” answered Bates. “Perkins come to Antiocli about 
ei^’ht years a.yo. is a great big fellow weighing over three hun- 
dred pounds and is as good natured as he is t)ig.” 

■’Tell me Avick.” said Hennessey', “is ould ('harley Haynes 
livin yet?” 

“Livin. you bet he is!” answered Bates. *‘ef aii 3 ^ man lias a- 
bad delit. he knows who can collect it for him.” 

“Ould Charley Haynes,” continued Hennessey reti’ospectively, 
•shure an the divvie a law shute was iver hild in the county that 
this sa-ame long Charlie hadn’t a finger in: he was the ould sipiire 
fer mony years. Oiwondher does he sipieeze the money out av 
thiin as he us't to?” 


“Things is changed.” said Bates. “Haynes isn't 'Sipiire no 
longer now, John Burke is .1. P. now." 

“Before (tawdl’ exclaimed Hennessey, “but ,vez ta-ake uu' 
breath a-way! yez surely can’t mane little Johnnie Burrnke. him 
( )i knowed a freckle-faced bye, hangin round listnin to tin* chat 
av all the ould min.” 

“ 1 he same, answered Ifates. ‘‘Burke is a Lake (Yuntv liov. 
liorn and raised in Antioch, but he’s an Editor as well as J. P. 
He runs a good newspayier, The AxTrocii News; he has taken 
in a pardner by the name of Storms, an they make a tine ruunin 
team you kin bet : there aint much in the way of items kin gat 
away from them.” 


“An edithor!” said Hennessey, “to think av Jack Ihirruki' 
bt'in an edithor; tis a great thing to be sipiire, bnt an (*dithor is 
bist av all. Ef ( )i (aid li\r' me loife over wance nior('. surt' ()i'd 



I'hc Au/ioch A\’7 vs Office^ Ames Ilani'ma re Store^ the Bank of Antioch^ Bfaber's Harness 
Shop and the Board of Trade (y). and C. O. Fo/tz df Co.'s Store. 




I/EA\VESSE)\ OE LAKE COC^Nl'Y 


sooner be an editlior thin a Prince: snch foine chances to wallo]) 
yer’e ininiiesz" 


Enemies! " protested Bates. “John Bnrke is the last man 
in the world to make enemies: he’s so kind hearted, he wouldn’t 
hnrt a tiy. Everyljody likes him. One thin^' is a tact, he and 
Storms are g'ettin ont the liveliest paper in Lake Comity, an the 
circulation of it is jest hnmpin n]i 1 kin tell yon ” 

“ ^^mll ’tis beantifnl to be an edithor, anyway.” said 
Hennessey. “Oi’m ‘j-lad Bnrrnke is wan. the name av him is 
music to me ears, ter the Hinnisseys an Bnrrnkes hev inther- 
married lieyant seas this mony years: shnre me own mother’s 
cousin, (lawd rist him, he wos a oTea^; nion wid his gun — an that 
nioinds me. how is ould Simons? ye’ll know which Oi mane, 
Levi Simons, he us’t to lie the foinest duck shot in Laake County.” 


” Ls’t to be! ” exclaimed Bates, “he is so still, why he ii’oes 
off every fall now to northern Wisconsin to shoot ducks and deer. 
Simons keeps a good hotel in Antioch, an a bus an livery line. 
He’s iieart an smart as he kin be. Imt he’s not much given to 
shootin off’ his mouth: he doesn’t do much liraggin. l)ut it’s well 
known that he shot two hundred and twenty-six ducks in one day 
on (trass Lake. He has ben jiostmaster. an held several town 
offices. He’s never so happy as when he goes ahuntin. Tell me, 
Hennessey, do you rememlier Tom Wilton? He made a consider- 
al)le bit of money l>y farming: he owns a farm now close to 
where yonrlirother us’t to live.” 

“Tom Wilton.” cried Hennessey. “Oi remimber him well, 
he wos a bricklayer be thraide. he wos an infid-dle. too,” contin- 
ued Hennesiey crossing himself and ])ronouncing this dreadful 
word a la violin. “Shnre he belaved nayther (Jawd nor the div- 
vle.” 

Bates laughed and said: “He's pretty considerable of a 
lawyer now. an loves the dollar better than ever. Perhaps.’’ 


con- 



Pr. E. If. PA/E.S, 
a Laki' Co/uEv /m>v. 



,6 U EX X ESSE ) \ OE LA KE CO I X'E ) 


tiimeil the old uuui v\dth a twiidvlin^- eye. “iml)eliet helps people 
to make money, for Wilton owns the Opera House now. and so 
far as money «‘oes. is tolerably well fixed. Some |)retty g'ood men 
have eoine into Antioch of late years. These’s Dr. E. H. Ames, 
he's a- native of Lake county, hnt he's only ben in Antioch about 
twelve years: he's the man to tell a g'ood story, as for jokes, he's 
fnll on ’em. He's one of the city ’dads.' and strong' tem])erance. 
I'm ^‘lad to say he's helped make a temperance town of Antioch.” 


■'Ye're a sthron.y timperince mom Dave, that Di know." 
said Hennessey, "onr fflissid Mother who kin read all hearrnts. 
knows that Oi wish ( )i wos the sa-anie.'’ 


Hates cast a comprehensive and i)itying- glance on his old 
friend, and continued his talk with some haste. 

"There’s C'. (). Foltz, he’s a native of Burlington. \\ isconsin : 
he’s only ben with ns eight years. He’s a fine Imsiness man. an 
well liked. He keeps store in the Wilton Opera House block, his 
stock of goods is ‘.11 ways A number one. He’s jest the tastiest 
feller I ever seen, always a tixin np his shelves; he’s good com- 
pany. too. a reglar ont an out gentleman, an he loves hnntin an 
fishin.” 


"There wos a mon named Riley Olcott.” said Hennessey. 
"Oi moind that he come intil the county much forninst the toime 
Oi moved away: is he livin yet.” 

"Indeed he is.'' answered Bates, "why that feller kin givi' 
yon the biggest yarns afiont the old Erie ditch ye ever hearn tell, 
nobody never sees him wTthont him havin a short, black clay i)i]ie 
in his month: the boys have laid liets that he sleeps with the pipe 
in his month all night. He’s lieen in Antioch fnll twenty year. 
Ef yon stood him on a rostrom with a star spangled banner in his 
hand, you'd swear he was the feller as was originnally photo- 
graphed for Uncle Sam. for he’s Yankee clear through.” "Tlnm 
tluu’e s .John ^Velch.” continued Bates, he's an Irishman, an ji'st 



AXDh'EW HER MAX, 
'\ i Lake Countv Eov." 



/S 


//EXX/^SSK)\ OF LA XK COl'X'FV. 


:is o-ood as they make ’em. he cuts an sets up a great share of the 
mouumeuts ill Ijake county: he’s a hue workman, everyone likes 
him. He kin talk ])olitics. religion or anything, v-hth the best of 
t hem . ' ' 


■‘Ah well! " said Hennessey with a, sigh, If an ( )irislimon 
kin lave the potheen alone, he’s hound to set his niarruk an this 
worm Id." 


“d'hen.” continued Bates. •'There’s A. (I. AVatson. he’s a 
young an enterprisin feller, he keeps the farmers su[)])lie<l with 
machinery an feed, he’s full of life an business I kin tell you. 
Then there’s Williams Brothers, surely you remember them 
Hennessey, they’re old residents: they keep a fine store, an sell 
everything except li(pior. Then there’s L. B. (trice. ‘Burt’ we 
call him. he keeps the (trice Hotel. Like myself, he’s consider- 
al)le of a talker. 1)ut he never misses any ljusiness chances: he’s 
alius on hand with his livery, lookin out for guests.” 

"Tell me Avick." said Hennessey, “is onld Allin Rogres 
ded?” 


“Head,” answered Bates, ‘’wall 1 guess not, he’s the liveliest 
corpse you ever did see.“ 

“Loively." mused Hennessey, “shnre onld Allin was always 
loively as a hee. an a (luare onld joker he was: Oi reniimber him 
well whin he lived down on the far-rum near me brother’s, at 
('eder Tiaake." 


“Now tell me wan thing more.” said Hennessey, “is onld 
Andrew Herman livin yet V” 

“Is he!” responded Bates heartily, ’‘well 1 shonld smile! 
why the old man’s as hearty as he kin be: he’s ( 'omniissiom^r of 
Hoads now an drives ovei- the conntry behind a spankin team of 
bays: he’s well fixed: 1 only wish. Hennessey, you an 1 was as 

comfortable in world’s goods as him, as I was sayin ” 

A shrill voice, from the other end of the store. interrn])ted 



]Vil/iaj)is Bros' 


Store, Autioc]i. 



30 


///■:xA7':ss/-: )\ of lake coexty. 


Mr. Bates' reeitals. As tlie friends sat on the l)arrels. too deeply 
interested in conversation to remeinher their surrounding’s, tlie 
day w-as waning-. Mr. Qninlan, engaged with customers and 
lighting- of oil lam])s. took no notice of them, until a shrill 
feminine voice, pitched unpleasantly high, ])enetrated his ears: 
■'Misthir Hinnissey.” said the voice '■ 'tis stharvin ( )i am 
fer an Oirish sthew: ef yez don’t l)e Iming-in the mate an 
vigitabnls to me this hiissid minnit. Oi’ll call out the ])atlirol fer 
vez. that < >i will." 


//A'A^\'A’.V.VA'); OF LAKE COUKTY. 


21 


Hennessey at a Business Meeting. 


■’Ye've bin a wondlierin onkl woiiiim wot kep me out so latf*. 
hev yeV" said Mr. Hennessey one wnrni sprino- evening-, as he 
wi])ed the pers])iration from histn’ow. •‘Shnre an ’tis this. Poor 
t'asey’s in a peck av thronble on acconnt av tlie bildin an loan 
associashons. 'Fhe wan he's inthoristed in is on the pint av 
bnrrnstin, an they cal 't a ineetin av the sliarehonlders or sthock- 
lionlde'.'s or wotiver partickler na-aine they o'o by. an Casey axed 
na^ to mate him thare an lielp him kape liis harrnt up thro the 
bizians. Cas('y's turi’ible bndv nj) over it. He se/^ et they wndn't 
insist on in v('stii,^atin. the company moi<>'ht- pull thro, bnt 'tis the 
invistiii'ashons is the ruin av thiin; they (Mii't sthand that. Ye 
know. .MoHie. wot a haard worrnkin fellow ('asey is; he's stiddy 
es a pnmp-bolt. an fer years he's liin an pnttin all his savins intil 
the fjoan Associashon. to hev a tiite av snp fer the onld woman 
whin he's dead an ^-one. He tonld me to enm to the meetin this 
afthernoon an ef he wasn't thare to the minit. to wait fer him an 
kape me eyes an ears open. As ( )i wos o-oin to mate him. ()i 
thot to mesilf how mnch betther ef Casey, instid av jinttin his 
money intil this associashon hed u‘ot himsilt' a little far-rnm 
near Antioch, wid a shebeen on, an a cow. wid a few illio-int 
pio's. Thin he'd hev hed a, home fer the onld woman, wid ])raties 
an Imtthermilk g-alore; an he'd hev bin livin near the shwati^ 
town av Antioch, where 'tis loike Hivin all the year 'round. 
Afther sum thronlile Oi found the plaace where the meetin wos to 
be an t)i cum to a (hire an on it wos marked the naame av the 
prisident av Casey's associashon. Oi sthept in at the dnre snddin 
an thare wos a tall young man Imggin an kissin a young ladv. 


22 


HKXXESSEV. OE L. I A'E CO EXE)'. 


'I'he lady co't soiu'ht av me over the youii.y num's shoulder an gdv 
a screech an sldp't over to a type \vi itin macheen. iin sot down to 
it. an the yonng nuin axed perlitely wot < )i wnnt(Ml. Oi sed Oi 
wos sorry to intherrnpt a plesin divarshin. bnt cud he tell me 
where they belt the meetin? He tnk me to the dure nn pinted 
idong the hall to nnother dure, an ( )i wint in an found tlie 
meetin, an party loively it wos in tliare. 


People stln.ndiu round talkin wid ache other, an callin down 
desthruckshon on the lieads av the indsidint an the directhors. 
Thin the directhors cum in an talked an argiual wid the ]ieople. 
Casev wos thare alredy. lookin white an worried. He tonid ni(‘ 
that lie didn't loikc the way thay wos thransactin things. 'Twas 
too much talk: he niver saw any good cum av a meetin that 
wos all talk. 


d'hin C'asey himsilf stud up au thried to knock a little sinse 
intil the heads av the directliors. who wudn't consint to any- 
thing he proposed. An wan little divvle av a mon kep junpiin u]> 
an ol>jectin to ivry thing. Oi sed to Casey, Oi l)laved that same 
mon wud spind his whole toime in llivin. if iver he got than' 
entherin obiecshions. It wos gettin daark thin, an nothin 
accomplislied. I'he people yelled to the janitor to loight the gas. 
I'he janitor sed he'd lie darned ef he wud onless they paid fer it. 
I'he directhors moved that a collecshon be taken np to pay fer tlie 
gas fer the evenin. The people se 1 ‘ no.’ they’d lost enuf alredy. 
'I'hey’d adjourn till mornin. 

d'lie directliors wudn’t consint to that. Ye see they feared 
Hiey’d burrust before mornin. an they wudn’t break np tlie 
meetin till the peo])le wud giv lave fer a certain amount to Ix' 
tahen out av their deposits to stave over the imirgency. He this 
toime wan uv the directhors wos sthrikin matches to give loight 
to the type-writin fellow, who wos takin down the ‘minits.’ as 
they call't it. av the meetin. tho Oi think it should hev been 


//ENXESSEY, OE LAKE COUNTY. 


23 


‘lionrs." Thin wan soft harruted g-intlenion sed they cud go 
down sthnares to his office, where the gas wos loighted, an 
thransact their bizniss. We wint, an a toight squeeze we had av 
it. The people wos gettin more obstreperous than iver. The 
directhors sailed in amongst thim, coaxin an threatnin be turruns. 
At last the directhors managed to get things their own way, an 
the meetin 1»ruk np wid groans an curses. The company may 
exist over another twenty-four hours, but ’tis shakin on its legs. 

Casey’s fair broken harruted. Oi tould him that thare wos 
too meny type-writin gurruls in it This huggin in bizniss hours 
is too dhisthractin an loible to tairrust the best consarn in the 
worm Id. 


Hennessey on “ Charley’s Aunt.” 


“Onld woman, " said Mr. Hennes'^ey. ns he entered the house 
tlie other night after eleven o'clock. “t)i’ve seen the tenrinest play 
as iver wos played: the rolikinist bit av fun that iver made a chap 
ache wid l^tfin. Ye want to know wot soort av a play it wos, an 
liow the ladies wos dhrestV Oh begorra! Oi can't tell yez mucli 
cousaruin the dliress ixceptin 'twas mostly lace an ribbons an viry 
disthractin lookin." 

“Misther Hinnissey," said his wife tartly, “Oi'm a thinkin 
'tis too much theayter wid yez; yez know ez well ez Oi do, that it 
tuk yez a whole month to git over seein Williard, an now ott’ ye 
go agin wid Casey, ez ef money grew on threes, an cud Ije had fer 
the pickin." 

‘•Now daarlin," said Mr. Hennessey soothingly, “don't be 
angry, railly, we tuk the theayter this noight as yez wud take 
madicine. 'Twas mintal divarshin me an Casey wos sutferin fer. 
We hed bin attendin another meetin av the Bildin an Loan 
Associashon, an ('asey wos so bruk up over it that Oi cud see if 
lie Uep his moind on it he wud shurely get dhrunk. How much 
betther fer him to hev a haarty laff over a good play. But Oi'll 
liegin at the beginnin av the play. The tirrist thing we seen wos 
a gay room wid a soort av a sarvint mon in it dnstin chairs. H 
seemed from this mon's talk that sum av the college byes lived 
thare an by the looks av things they lived in sthoile. This mon 
wos complainin bitherly av the woildness av the l»yes an av the 
scarcity av dhrink, lie raisin that the byes ginnerally dhrank it 
all up thimsilves. As the mon wos grumblin to hissilf in cums 
wan av the byes, named Jack, an sits down to wroite a letther to 


//K.YXF.SSK)\ OF /.A/YF COCXTY. 


<■) 


his g-irrul, l)iit he didn't g-it on wid it nohow. He taares np six 
shales av good note paper at this worrnk, when on dims another 
collige bye, callt Charley. Thin Charley axes Jack to help him 
wroite a letther to his g-nrrnl. Thin they both sit down to 
wroite, an the more they thry the worse they do it. Oi wos sorry 
ter the liyes, Mollie. ter letther wroitin is harrnd worrnk at all 
toimes. 


.At hi'-t they say ‘tis no nse: they’ll hev to tell their love in 
spaehe. They'll hev the gnrrnls to enin an take Inneh wid thim 
that day, thin they'll pop the (piestion till thim Charley says he 
lies an onid annt cnniin troni lira/.il to see him; she'll be in toiiiie 
ter the Innch. an be the proprietres. d’hin they wroite notes 
invoitin the garrnls. an call the men in an giv him sniii lip an 
sind him off wid the notes, firrnst makin him imejnce all the 
woine they hev an set it on the table to see et tliare is enough ter 
Innch. The byes go off' to dhress. whin in at the windy hops 
another collige bye callt Bob. It sanies that he wos a Loord. but 
et all the Loords looks an acts loike him tliey'ie a woild lot. He 
s(‘es the woine on the table an dances wid joy. He pops the 
bottles intil a large carpet bag he is carryin an is jest makin off' 
thro the windy agin, whin the bye- rushes in an ketches him. 
Thin they tell their love thronbles till him an he sez he’s in the 
same box. be raison av a gnrrul who wint to the Wist Injies or 
Slim haythin plaace. At this pint in rushes the mon wid a 
letther which tells how Charley's .Aunt wont lie able to git there 
that day. The liyes is disprit, fer they know the gnrrnls wont 
cniii widont a lady thare They coax Bob to dhriss himsilf np fer 
the oiild woman an help thim out of the schrape. But whin Bob 
dim in dhrest np fer the oiild woman the fun begun in airnist. 
1'lie gown itsilf wos well ennf, but oh. the wan that wos in it: 
the nose av him: an the jaw av him: takin all in all Mollie. lu' 
wos the most hijeons onld woman yez end see in a days journey. 




26 


I/KXXKSSK ) ( )/'■ /.. / A'A C0( X '/' ) 


He jist lio<l toime to ax th(^ lives ef he wos married an did he hev 
any childm’s. whin they InirriiMl him i:itil a eliair an he spread 
out his lilack ^’own an thried to look modist. In cnm the two 
uurrnls. an tis lieanties they wor Mcdlie, an viry mneh in lov(‘ 
wid Jack an Charley. Charley inthrojncis his annt to thim 
an they call lioh a 'dear onld thin;^' ' insist on kissin her. 
The liyes is treminjns mail, hat hliss yon. Boh loikes it: end yez 


hlaine him me dear? " 

" Yis!" retorted Mrs. Hennessey. "Ci end hhime liiin: to he 
so mane as to take a-dvantio-e av two innocent o-mruls, wlio madi' 
the misteke av thiidvin him a dacint ould lady. < )i d lu'v 
wallopoed him well. " 

"d'luit's as it may be," remarked Mr. Hennessey. “ tis a 
matther av opinyon on thim pints. AVell they set down to 
hmeh — Oi foro'ot to tell yez tho ahont .Tack's father, a noice onld 
()anthleinon. who looked loike a retoired poirate. He wos at the 
hmch. .Tack bavin o-iv him the tip ahont Charley's Annt bein 
wealthy wid Brazil nnts an nayjji'nrs: the onld chap thot it wnd he 
a soft shnap fer him to patch np the rints in his forchnne. he 
coortin an marryin the annt. Finally the byes axes fer the woine. 
at which Charley's Annt claps her two hands to her face an lad's 
nprorions. Ye see Boli reniimhered snddin that the woine wos in 
the hag'. OTi Oi'll nicer see a black satin gown agin widont 
fancyin Oi kin see the shake av a laff in it. 

The nixt act showed a lieantifnl garden ontsoide .Tack's and 
Charley's rooms. The Tiyes cnms on wid the gnrrnls an Tiegnn 
love makin. hnt they bed the divvle's own toime av it., owin to 
Charley's Annt an the retoired poirate always gettin in the way. 
The gnarjin av the gnrrnls wos in it too. He wos a Tialddieaded 
onld mom wid loose jinted legs. Whin he foinds ont the riches 
av Charley's Annt. he goes to coortin the onld lady most ont- 
rageons. an Charley's Annt kapes the two onld min skippin 
party loively." 


/IKNXKSSF.V. OF LA A7>: COiWJ'V. 


27 


“ Shaineful, interrupted Mrs. Hennessey, “the eon- 
tiniptihleness av min is l)eyand belat'e." 

“ l*ra])s that's thrae." said Mr. Hennessey, “hot ye/, didn't 
wondher vid so much love inakin in the air. thet the oiild wans 
wild want to he at it too. Anyhow things wos inixt up tri^'htfiil 
whin in the midst av it, in cmns tlie rale aunt. Whin she he:irs 
cons:irnin the make-helieve-annt. she niver lets on. hut pertemls 
to he some one ilse. Wid her is the «‘nrrnl that Hoi) loves. 'I'his 
makes Hoh de.sprit. He tills the hves thet he will play the onld 
woman no lono-er. He taares off the satin o-own and skips out in 
his ])roper pants and shirrnt. 'I'his makes the anjience near doie 
wid laffin. Ivrythin comes out sthruiokt in the ind. 

As we cum out av the theayter Casey sez: ‘Tare’s Powers,’ 

‘ Wot do yez maneV ' sez Hi. ,Tist thin Oi noiiced Casey nochlin 
an smilin at a handsnm little mon wid a face on him ez hroight 
ez a summer inarnin. 

‘I tout yez know Harry I’owersV' sez Casey, ‘ Shore he's the 
foinest mon this soide av the herrin jiond, Oi thot ivry wan in 
Chicao'O knowed Harry Powers.' 

‘ 't'ez tooled yersilP. ' s(*z Oi ez we cnin out. O'er thare's wan 
mon in Chica.yo niver heerd av him till to-noiji-ht. an thet mon is 

Pat Hinnessey.' 

(\isey looked at me soide-ways. an ez we wint aloii”’ Oi sez, 
sez Oi. ‘ Oi've seen Charley's Annt. an Oi've seen Harry Powers, 
hot where wos the Cat?' 

■ 'I'he w hat V ' sez Casey. 

‘'I'he (‘at.' sez Oi. ‘ Oi seen nor hoide nor hair av it.' 

• .\n why shod yez see a eat'.-' ' sez Cas(\v. 

• Why Per noV'sez Oi. ‘the vistnhiile av tin' theayter wos full 
av ))ictnres av hif»- cats wid Charley's .\iint in oroat letthers 
nndlier ivry wan av thim.’ 

•Oh! s(‘z Cas(W. ‘that wos advertizin." 


//AW'AVt.V.VA' )’. OF /.A KE COrNTY. 


2S 


‘They bed no l)izniss doin it. ' sez ( )i. ‘whin they proiniKed 
cat they shad furnish cat.' 

‘ It saines,’ sed Casey, sthandin sthock sthill ‘ thet Charley” 
Annt an Harry Powers isn't emit fer yer evenin's enthertainnients 
hilt yez 111 loike to hev cats exthry. P’raps.’ sez he shneerin 
loike, ‘ye'd wish a few allegathors an toilers thriin in.’ 

Think av that Mollie, from him to me, an him a mere bye: 
he can’t be more than forty-foive year onld. ‘ Casey.’ sez Oi till 
him wid dignity, ‘spake to me no more loike thet,’ 

‘ Cnm on!' he sez. beg’innin to dhrao: oft* his coat. ‘Cum on! 
Oi'll lick yez ef yez wor ez oiild ez the hills.’ 

An thare Oi lift him Mollie. sthil shakin his fists at me.” 


HENXESSE\\ OE LAIvE COUNTY 


29 


Hennessey’s Holiday. 


Day was breaking- over Chicago. The dawn of another of 
those broiling- days when the big city seemed like a great grid- 
iron on which men slowly roasted. But the morning dawned 
even in the purlieus with the freshness of a prayer on its parched 
lips. Faint breezes fluttering over Lake Michigan, drew up a 
little coolness as they came along and breathed it gently into 
those wretched domiciles where the city’s poor tossed in their 
restless slumbers. 

The first beams of light peeped in a,t a window of Mr. 
Hennessey’s bed-room as timidly and gently as if it had been a 
fine lady’s bondoir. These beams revealed the old man with his 
arms thrown over his head, and his long gray locks lying 
carelessly upon the pillow. 

Mrs. Hennessey, entering the room at that moment to arouse 
him from his slumbers, paused to look at him. There was no 
kindly glory in all the morning sweeter than the light of love 
which softened Mrs. Hennessey’s wrinkled face as she gazed at 
the care-worn one on the pillow. Mr. Hennessey, moving 
restlessly, muttered. ‘’No. no. Casey, Oi'll niver forgive yez.” 
Mrs. Hennessey, smiled, and touching his shoulder, roused him. 

••Ould mon,” she said, “dhress yersilf quickly, fer poor 
Casey’s ben here the last half hour beggin to see yez an ax yer 
fergivness fer what was atwixt yez the noight yez seen ‘Charley's 
Aunt.’ He an Flannigan want yez to go wid thim fer a days 
holiday, as owin to the sthroike ther’s no worruk fer thim to do. 
Casey does be sayin that wid the Rnck Island road tied up, ’tis 
l»ut little use there is fer his coffin, the cab.” 


I/EXXESSEY, OF LA /YK C'CIXTY. 


so 


"Ah!” exclaimed Mr. HeiinesRey with evident joy. “is Casey 
there thin? Sure. Oi tho’t the l)ye wnd l>e coinin till his sinsis 
afther a. toiine, Mollie macnshla. tell thim Oi’ll be wid thiin 
doirictly.” 


The "making up” between the Irish Damon and Pythias was 
accomplished with celerity; it consisted of a hearty hand-shake 
and a long look into each other’s eyes. 


"Now l)ves.” said Mr. Flannigan. who was a small, thin old 
man. with a scrubbing-brush beard, "fer a noice. quoit breezy 
s])hot. the north pier wnd be a good place to go till, an hev a 
little tishin.” 

"( tinthleinin. ” exclaimed Mrs. Ileunessev as she entered the 
room, "promise me that ye'll not go near the sthroikers this day. 
but wall contint yersilves wid quoit pleasures.” 


‘‘Mollie.” retorted Mr. Hennessey, testily, "do yez think we 
wnd go near the roiters au hoodlum'^ as hez the impudence to call 
thimsilves sthroikers! no. we re ter law an ordher: we want the 
byes to git wotiver tliey re intoitled to. but we know they’ll never 
get it be turrimin over caars an desthroyin ])roperty.” 


Having satisfied Mrs. Himnessey on this score, the good 
woman presented them with a Itasket plentifully filled with an 
abundant lunch. 


They made their way to the north pier, enjoying a pull at 
their pipes as they went along. Seated at last on the edge of the 
pier, with fish poles extended over the water, the trio watched 
their floaters with serene interest and contented silence. The 
waves swashed round the piles with musical mnrmuring’s ; the 
wind, refreshed by its friend, the water, blew gently through the 
scant grey locks on Hennessey’s forehead, and tantalized the rim 
of Casey’s hat. It was one of those days when the fish, for some 
unexplainable reason, refused to bite; but this fact interfered not 


//A'iVA'AW.V/'; ]; OF /.AKK COUXTY. 


31 


the least with the placid pleasure of 
peo])le enjoy a holiday on any terms. 


the party, d’he common 


'■ Wan tliim*’ we can claim, l)yes.” said Hennessey, looking’ 
al)Out liim complacently, "we ^‘et this tlirate ont av the 
sthroikes. " 


"Wot is the opinyon yez entherthain av the sthroike, 
Misther Casey." asked Flannio-an. with interest, ‘nni which do 
yez think is in the roiyht av it?" 

"The sthroikers is in the roig-ht, av coorse." responded 
( 'asey. 


"How wnd yez he makin that ont. " asked Hennessey, "and 
lirrnst av all will yez tell me wot they're sthrikin t'ery"’ 

"Divvie a. wan av im knows!" answered Casey. "‘There was 
some talk tirrnst av the thronl)le hein wid Pnllnian. hnt somehow 
(>i didn't see why the whole connthry should sthrike Viekase av 
Ihillman. Thin some do l>e sayin es how Dehs. bein dissatistied 
wid the way the Prisident an his cabinet is rnnnin thing's, thinks 
he end do betther himsilf. an has an intinshnn av l>ein made a 
soort av an Imjioroor av the United Sthates. Hnt wotiver is the 
cause, it makes no differ to me. ()i'm will tliem anyhow. ( )i tell 
yez. wot liyes they hev a sthroike on as will knock the worrnid 
silly." 

" iiisten till me Casey." said Hennessey sternly, "yer'e a 
yoiiny mon. or ye'd niver be talkin that way. Hympathizin wid 
wot yersilf admits ii nothin to yez lint a name. Some one called 
1 >ebs yells sthrike to yez. an off' o-o all av the byes loike a i>nn ai 
halt cock, an wid no more sinse till it." 


" '1’is a o-reat misthake/’ said Flannij>'an, "we had imitthers 
bad enough torninst the harrnd toimes. on top av all these 
thronbles the byes has rows in the moines. an now they do thini»-s 
wid the railroads to brin^^ the throo})s down on thini. All this 
too in a period when they tells ns the tlireasnry is inipthy." 


I/EXXKSSEV, OF LAKE COEXTY. 


“Wot Oi want to know is this.’’ said Casey, the threasnry is 
impthy, who impthied it?" 

A thouo'htful silence tell upon the gTonp when this (piery was 
propounded. Even Hennessey, whose loquacity inigdit be termed 
perennial, could find no answer. The trio fell to smoking very 
hard, as if to extract from the solacing weed some elncidation of 
this knotty problem. Finally Hennessey said he conld 
remimber some intherestin things forninst shooting chibs ef 
they’d wish to listen.” This was rather a wide departure from 
the unsolved prolilem. bnt they listened. 


Hennessey on Shooting Clubs 


“Hould an wan ininnit. Misther Hinnissnv,” said old Flanni- 
ii*an. in an excited tone. '‘Oi'ce ^ot a boite.” 

d'he others watched with eager interest as Flannigan. att(*r 
some inanonvering, landed a small perch. 

“Niver moind the soize av it,” said Hennessey, consolingly, 
•'there's higger wans where that cimi from.” 

Mr. ('asey burst into a smothered lant)-h. The others, 
turning their heads to discover the cause of his merri- 
ment. saw it in the persons of two women, walking along the 
l*ier. I'hese women were tremendonsly stont. and one of them 
was colored. 'I'he colored woman carried ostentationsly a laroe 
umbrella, as if to protect her com})lexion f*’om the snn. d'his 
was no easy task, as the wind was hio-h and blew the feminine 
garments aliont with langhatile abandon. After their mirth had 
subsided Hennessey asked Fasey. in an oracular tone. ‘‘Ff he 
noticed the dale av thronble the Tolleston ('Inli was inV What 
wid law shntes an mnrdhers an (tawd knows what besoides.” 

Mr. Casey responded in the atfirmative, and Hennessey 
proceeded to air his views on shooting chibs, much to the edifi- 
cation of the other two. who listened to his discourse with 
Itrofonnd respect. 

•‘Now byes." said Mr. Hennessey, screwing liis month np 
into its most argumentative twist. "The tiling to me moind is 
this way. A lot av rich min buys op a whole marsh, fer the 
purpose av kapin all the shootin to thi nisi Ives. Not contint wid 
that, they hire policemen an detectives to guard the marsh from 
inthrnders. fer fear some poor divvle, who is fonder av cliasin a. 
duck than doin anythin ilse in the worrnld, should be accident 



fer lovely places to sthop at, there's the Ilunther s llonie. 
an Kaniaher's, an Boh Setter's." 



HE N\ 'ESSE } O E L A KE CO UNT 3 




])nt wan fnt over the loine. iiitil the marsh they call their own. 
lle^'orra Oi always shnpposed the l)irriids av the air was free to 
all min. Init these rich min wonld capture the viry wind that 
blows an chain it down, ef they end. an lave the poor mon widont 
air emit to till his hmy’s a dozen toimes. They thried this Imyin 
np l)izniss at (trass Laake, byes. a. long'toime ago. but they endn’t 
do it. The poor mon, glory be to (lawd, has as much roight 
there es the rich mon. They don’t kape consthables there to 
knock yez on the head ef yez happen to fergit yersilf in the joy av 
tirin yer gnn. 


The dacint worrnkin mon can go to (trass Laake fer his 
sphort. as well as the millyonare. There the poor mon can stand 
in his boat just as the day is breakin. an watch the rosv mornin 
gettin ont av bed. Daybreak on the marsh is a glorious soight 
to a city bye. ( >i tell yez. He kin feel the fresh air all about him, 
an takej»ig gulps av it widont pavin ixthry fer the privilege. 
He kin listin to the swhate thwitterin av the birrnds as they tell 
their plisint drames to wan another, an niver bother his hid wid 
the thought av concert tickets. An as fer Invly places to sthop 
at an git the atin an drinkin. why there’s the Hnnthers' Home, 
an Kamaker’s. an Bob Selter's. Ah! the same Bob, he's a foine 
bye! Oi’ve knowed him sense he wor a little kid. an good Oi’ve 
knowed him to be. all thro’ from byehood to monhood. 

'tA'z kin see. byes, wid half an oi. that the noshion av the 
ricli min bnyin np the marshes an rivers is all wrong. ( )i do Ite 
hearin that 'tis as ni’ieh as y ere head is worth to set fnt on the 
d'olleston marshes. That the dirthy rnttians hoired feiy'the 
par}>ose. doe^ 1)e layin fer yez with Winchester roitles. always. 
Oi can’t belave that it's as bad as that in this free land, 
howiver. Oi kin testify to the hoggishniss av the rich, fer many 
years ago. in Minnesoty. whin Oi was worndvin on a rich mon’s 
fancy farrnin. Oi ha<l opporthnnities ter sthndyin the 



'"1)1 Ins boat a)i (ii-ass Lalu’ mi 'icalrli i/ir )-osy i;io)-uin ye.'lln out of bed.'" 


///uVXESSKV, OF LAKE COUXl'Y 


37 


eccenthricities ;iv the rich. There wor visitin on the farrmn. 
whin Oi worrnked there, a stout ginthleinon from Evanston. 
The ])ropriethor called him 'Kid.' He wor the fattest and onldest 
kid ( )i iver seen, d'his 'Kid' was as full av notions as onld mate 
is full av ma'j-o-ots. He kipt puttin all soorts av (piare fancies intil 
the propriethor’s liead. Wan noio-ht. wliin the pro})riethor cum 
home from drivin over the ]>lace, he found the shniill av wliiskey 
so sthrono- in the u'lm room that he swhore it made him faint. 
Itedad. the ‘Kid’ had tilled ivrv jug' an l)Owl in the house wid 
whiskey, an jmt corrnn to soak in it. 

■'N’hatdoes tliis maneV’ says the ])ropriethor. as mad as a 
liornet. 


'It manes.’ sez the 'Kid,' 'That it is me intinshion to make 
all the woild ducks an o-eese as dhrunk as biled owls; we’ll 
scattlier the corrnn over the fields this noi«-ht. an whin we g-o out 
arly in the marnin. we’ll foind the birruds sthag'^'erin in the 
fields be hundreds. Thin we’ll take a sthick an knock thim on 
the head.’ 

The 'Kid looked at his frind an laft'ed. 

'Listin till me. Kid,’ sez the boss. 'Yer’e a fool! (food 
whiskey loike that will only give the birruds more sthrength to 
fly away wid. As fer knocking fhim on fhe hid. ’twould be sheer 
murdher an no s])hort at all.' 

Yit fer all that, wan cud see he was railly carried away wid 
the iioshon av it. The rale hoggishniss av their nathures showed 
out. The wastin av all that good whiskey, fer the sake av 
capthurin ivry birrud in that vicinity to thimsilves." 

"Did they git any dncksV” asked Elannigan. with interest. 

"Nary a feather.” answered Hennessey. "They were out at 
dayloight looking the ground over: the corrnn was gone an flit' 
birruds too. 



(/r<7ss Lake a ntou kin Iici' the joy ai' ftriti off his yini ividont 
hein hit an the hid hv a eousthah/e.'' 


//ENXESSEY, OE LAKE COUNTY. 


39 


Hennessey’s Investment. 

‘•Ye've wnrrnke;! iviry day this wake. (,)i belave. Misther 
Hinnissey," remarked that g'eiitleman’s wife, with ominous 
politeness, as. one tine Saturday evenin«- she finished counting- for 
the fifth time the bills and silver lie had given her. 

“Oi hev. Mollie. Oi hev.'" responded Mr. Hennessey, bnt his 
voice trembled and he struck a match and atteni])ted to light his 
already glowing pipe, to hide his embarrassment. 

“An yit. Misther Hinnissey. yer wages is a dollar short.” 
said Mrs. Hennessey, her face flushed until it resembled an 
auctioneer’s flag at a sheriff's sale. 

“Oi’ll till ye Mollie.” went on Mr. Henn.e.ssey. still uneasily. 
“Oi med an invistmint.” 

“A what?” inquired his wife in the tones of a woman pre- 
determined not to be humbugged nnder any circumstances. 

“An invistmint,” repeateil Mr. Hennessey, solemnly ]n'odnc- 
ing a small package from his pocket. 

Mrs. Hennes.sey maintained a frowning silence, bnt watched 
her spouse as he seated himself, liroke the string, removed the 
wrapping paper and displayel to her astonished gaze, a volume 
bound in dark blue. 

“From Side Sthrates to Bnllyvaards. l»y Preserved AVhaler.” 
read Mrs. Hennessey disparagingly, seating herself also and 
taking the book in her hands. “An ye ped a dollar fer this? ” 

“Oi did.” responded her husband firmly l)nt with a pale and 
a n X i on s con n t en an ce . 

Mrs. Hennessey glanced at the l)ook a second time and 
gently, oh so gently, laid it on the talde. Then she arose to her 


40 


I/EX.VKSSK)\ OF LA AW-: C0rX7'Y 


full heig'bt. not from her eluiir, hut in it. though to her hus- 
Imnd her head seemed to touch the ceiling, and towered above h(>r 
victim as black and menacing a-s a, cloud-1 >urst over a i\Iium;sota 
farm. Mr. Hennessey said not a. word but stared defiantly at the 
tea-kettle. 

■‘\e ped a dollar fer this, did yeV” began his wife, her voic(> 
raising almost to a shriek as she jwoceede 1; "ye ped a dollar fer 
this whin yez onny git won fifty a <lay an not much doiu at that; 
ye ped a dollar fer this whin Jimmies two fate air ont on the 
flure fer want ov shoes, as Oi touki ye onny this blissid inarniu; 
ye ped a whole dollar fer a thrashy book, an ye nadin a new shovel 
to worrnk wid on the Soide Sthrates an Bullyvaards, to kape yer 
woife an childern from want.” 

Mrs. Hennessey paused for lack of l)reath, and Mr. lTenu(‘s- 
sey broke in with a dogged: 

"It isn't a thrashy book. Mol lie.” 

"( )h ! it isn’t, isn't it.” returned Mrs. Hennessey, "an how 
do yon know that?” 

‘‘Because Oi read a ])aart av it comin home. " answered her 
spouse, seizing the opportunity to change the subject, "the firrust 
story opens beautiful about a man who nset to git dhrnidv all the 
toime an wos no good ginerally. His na-ame wos 

"Hinnissey,” interrupted his wife, with much decision, 
leaning her head upon her hands and looking intently at tlu' 
speaker. 

Mr, Hennessey coughed. 

‘‘Oi 11 inek a clean breast av it Mollie. " he proceeded aftei’ a 
pause, “thin Oi think ye'll not be so harrud on me. but 'll s<'(‘ 
Oi’ve not wasted me money. Oi wos talkin to McOuire tliis 
inornin a few minutes before the leoss druv up, an sez he: ‘Did y<* 
iver hear av Preserved Whaler?' Oi didn't, sez Oi. wouderin 
wot he cud mane, is it good? ‘It is that.' sez McOuire. ‘hu- 
Oi’ve thried it mesilf. Ye shud git it Hiuuissey. It ouuy costs 


//KNXKSSJ<]\ OF L AXE COL'AA'Y. 


41 


!i dollar, an ye’ll niver regret the invistniint to the da-ay av yer’e 
death.’ Just thin the boss kein an we separated. Will, as ( )i 
wos eoinin home. Oi sez to inesilf. sez Oi. Mcttnire’s a man av 
sound sinse. an has a long- hed an him. an ef he sez a thing- is 
i>-ood it must he g-ood. It’s pay noight an why shndn't Oi thrate 
mesilf an me family wanst in a whoile. So Oi wint intil that 
g-roeery wid the l)ig pla-ate glass windy an Oi sez, do ye kape 
Preserved Whaler V “Preserved Whaler.’ sez the clerk, starin at 
me as ef ( )i’d l»en a frake in a dime museum, an he a dead-head. 
“Is it canned p-aches ye maneV’ NNdiat fer shnd Oi mane canned 
paches. sez Oi. whin Oi said Preserved Whaler as plain as Oi cud 
s[)hakeV 'Niver heard av it sez the clerk, tnrnin his back an me. 
d’hin Oi thried two or three more groceries, but they wos all 
aloike. They hed cherries an sthrawberries an plums an sich. 
but not a wan hed Whaler. At last Oi sthruck a small sthore on 
the corner an put the nsnal (piestion. at which the clerk burrust 
out laughin. “Preserved Whaler.’ sez he. “is the na-ame av a 
man who wroites books.’ Is it? sez Oi. “It is that.' sez he, “an 
ye'll foind out all a,l)Ont Whaler an the books too at McClurg’s. on 
Wabash Avcnyer.' So Oi thanked him koindly fer his infor- 
mation an wint out. Thin Oi sthrolled to McOlurg's an got the 
book. Oi’ve onny read parrt av it. Mollie. but wan thing Oi will 
say -may Oi be foriver preserved frum radin another av Whaler's 
books 

““An ye i>ed a dolla — ” began his wife, wrathfully. 

‘“Till Whaler wroites another.” concluded Mr. Hennt*ss(\v. 
with solemn earnestiu'ss. 


A. n. L. 


FROM SIDE STREETS AMD BOELEVARDS." 

A AEc Book of Chicago Stories. 

By PRESERVED IVl/EELER. 

Bound in Cloth, jyb pages. $i .00 per copy. post-p‘^^‘l- 


E'or Sale by all Booksellers, or by 
BURKE d- STORMS. ANTIOCH. ILL. 


n/iNXESSK } : OF I. A KE CO C X7' } 


43 


Hennessey on Grass Lake Ducks. 

When Mr. Hennessey reached home the other evening he 
seemed so excited that his good wife asked him what had “ Ijen 
sthirrin him np?” “Oh, Mollie,*' he groaned, “ Oi don't know 
wot things is a comin to. this connthry is get tin to be so fall av 
liars! But I'll he afther tellin yez how it cnm al)ont. Oi was in 
the Wishconsin Cinthral dapot, jist tinishin np a little wnrrnk 
thare. whin in cams a passinger thrain, and otf stips snm city 
gintlemin wid sthrings av game shlnng al)Ont thim. A foine site 
to me always is the ducks, an Oi sez to niesilf. sez Oi, it's from 
(trass fjake they're l)ringin thim. So I tiling me shovel over me 
shoulder an throtted along liehoind the gintlenion with the biggest 
sthriiig av thim. an on he walks, loike a dhrimi major, 'til he 
cnm bo the Open Board of Thraide. an thare a lot av the l»yes seen 
him an liegan chistherin 'round him loike tiys near sugar." 

‘ Just in from Orass Lake liyes,’ he sez. ’ Oi tuk the thrain 
af Caniii Lake an foine fan Oi’ve had. It's a bigger sthring 
than this Oi'd a had if me toime had not been curtailed.' 

Thin he thrnn tiie ducks down an they all gethered close 
round to admire thim. ( )i sthopped near unnoticed loike an 
listined . 

•This wan,’ he sez. pickin np a big mallyard. 'wnz a long- 
shot an he cam with a moighty tio]).’ 

•Mostly spike tails,’ sez wan av the l»yes, scornfnl loike. 

•Niver moind that.' sez the h anther, ‘the s}>ort’s jist ez good 
whativer thare tails aa-re. 

Thin he began discoorsin to thim an how he'd shot each par- 
ticnlar duck, an Oi qiioitly picked np wan a.v the hnrrnds an tnk 
a, shnitf at him. O! be all’s good that duck shmilt sthrong. 


44 


1 1 i^:xN ESSE ) ; o e l a ke coi xr ) : 


‘Yis byes,’ he wint on sthratenin himsilf up. ‘Oi end hev 
(lone mnch betther ef it hadn’t Ihn fer the g'nn.‘ 

At this wan av the byes, who seen me take a shniff, lifted a 
biirrnd an tnk a shnitf himsilf. (). Mollie woman, Oi'm latHn yit 
to think av the faces he made. 

‘Well,’ he sez tnrnin to the hnnther. ‘Oi knew they wor 
considerable liars an the Boord av Tliraide bnt an the Oi>en Boord 
they do excel.’ 

‘What do yon mane?’ sez the hnnther. mad loike. 

■ Oi mane,' sez the other. * ye shonid hev pnt salt pether in 
the chaarg-e wid which ye shot these ducks, an not hev hot thim 
av a pot hnnther at fifty cints apiece.’ 

Afther that spache the excitemint grew so intince among 
thim an the langwage so swhate an sthrong that Oi thot Oi’d 
betther be movin, an ez Oi walked along Oi sez to inesilf, the 
remimbrance av the shmill takes me moind to the Pollard- 
Breckinridge case. It’s a sthrange contradictory condishion av 
atfiairs in a connthry loike this, which at the openin av the 
worrnld’s fair was claniorin fer breeches on thare Appollo 
Belvideres. an blanket shawls round thare Dianas, yit can open 
thare papers ivry mornin an read with a relish the most disgnstin 
otiscenity that iver disgraced the records av the law.” 


//EA^XKSSKV. OF LA AX: COU.XTY. 


45 


Hennessey’s Reminiscence. 

It w:is a Wiirin. (inite warm day in Sprint'. It Spriiio- is a 
cfKpiettish season in most localities it may be considered even 
more so in (,'hica^'O; its chang'eableness there is startling’ to an 
extreme. Bnt this particnlar day was all smiles and promises. 
Mr. Hennessey, walking’ homeward with a slow step, and a tiny 
bunch ot crab apple blossoms in his hand, seemed lost in remi- 
niscences. He shook his head slowly from side to side, muttering 
softly to himself as he walked: “To remimber onld Laake coim- 

thy, och hone, the cral) apple threes is bloomin there, the fish is 
dishportin thimsilves in Loon lake, the wind is latfin over the 
titdds, an here — " 

Mr. Hennessey looked dolefnlly upon the wretched street 
l)efore him. and a moistnre dimmed his old faded eyes. He 
lifted the crab apple blossoms to his nose to inhale their fragrance. 
Mr. Hennessey’s nose bore so strong a resenildance to these blos- 
soms in its color, that his nose and the l)lossoms seemed to blend. 
He had i)nrchased them from a small boy for the sum of three 
cents, as being the last of Ids stock, the boy had professed his 
willingness to part with them for that. 

As Mr. Hennessey entered his hnmlde donncile he presented 
the dowers to Mrs. Hennessey with a bow which, considering his 
3’ears. was grace itself. That fine woman. Mrs. Hennessey, was 
snr])rised and touched by snch an unexpected gift. She received 
it with a cry of delight. 

“ W’as it me ye was thinkin of. onld mon V " she said, “these 
mind me av the time whin Oi wos a gnrrnl.” 

“ An a beantifnl gnrrnl ye wor. Mollie.” said Mr. Henness('y, 
gallantly, at which compliment Mrs. Hennessey l)Cstowed upon 
him the largest smile she was capal)le of, and 1 do assure yon 
there never was anything stingy in Mrs. Hennessf^y's smilin 



!/<■ Bnithcr's luinuni on Cot/nr Laaki 




"l^it ye down." said j\Irs. Hennessey, delightedly. “ yer 
sii])per s all ready. Pat, and t-is an exhtry i>’Ood wan. too, ter ye 
must reniiinljer yer hnrthday cnms only wanst a year." 

“An is it me hnrthday V " exelaiined Mr. Hennessey, sur- 
prised. “yet Oi can't help thinkin it would he betther not to 
know when wan's hnrthday cnni. ye moig'htlive to l)e a hundred-." 

After this sa,g’e remark Mr. Hennessey addressed himself to 
his suo])er. When a little time had V)ecn devoted to this pleasant 
occui)ation. Mrs. Hennessey said: 

" Sure. Pat, it's an illio-a.nt daay intoirely, it is." 

“ d’hrue fer ye. me darlint, " answered Mr. Hennessey, “an 
its this saame day that takes me inoiml to Laake County, an the 
schwate toimes Oi used to he havin there wid me In-ether; a Itrotli 
ov a hye he wos. only at toimes he'd Ije a- little woild afther the 
dhrink. hut his woife tuk away to cure him ov that, an even to 
this daay Oi can't hel]) lathn whin Oi think av it. Ye must 
know. Mollie. that me hrether had the purtiest farrum in the 
worruld: on the hack av his house wos an illi^-ant porrnch. an he'd 
set on it evenins lookin out over Cedar Laake an shmokin his 
])oipe. an there would he the teal' the woild ducks, woman - 
playin in the wather jest heyant, an shakin their wind's at him as 
ef to say. “ cum shoot ns, ye omadhann.' P>ad cess to the railroad 
min. they've built a road thare now, on the ed^-e. av the laake. an 
si)hilt iverythiny intoirely. Well, as Oi was sayin. me hrether 
had the wan wakeness ^>v loikin his dhrop. an whin he'd g-o to 
town Antioch wos the nearest town thim daays. an there wos 
little talk av ])rohihishun--he'd come home so full, well. Molli(\ 
( »i can't railly say how full; hut Sarah, his woife. objected to it. 
the craythnr. an mintioned that ol)jection to him in sthrono' lan- 
i'-wa^-e, an a divvle av a, row they had ov(u- it at toimes. \\ an 
daay lu> wos returnin from town well ‘sot up. as ye would say. 
wid Hu' sphirit of conthradiction sthroni>' within him. an a foine 
ju« av whiskey dost' beside 1dm. to kape his tim]>er up. .\s h(‘ 


//AVWVVt.S'.S'A ' OF LAKE COEXTY. 


4S 


dhruv lip to the gate ther wor Sarah at the dure lookin ter him. 
Thin he whisk.s the jng an shaaks it at her. callin out all tlu' 
toiine. ‘ not a wiirrnd. Sarali, not a, wiirriid.' Me sister-in-law 
taakes in the condishian of affares at a glance, an whin he cnni 
intil the house she axes him, swate as ye plaze. to sthep intil the 
cellar, loike a darlint. and titch her a jiig av milk. Me hrether 
wos so fooled Iw her kindness, an his own good feelins. that 1k‘ 
done it. No sooner wos he down the sthairs thin she shuts tlie 
thrap on liim, she had fastened the little diire heyant. thin rnnnin 
to the sthove she taakes a kittle av hot wathiw. Me hrether he 
calls to her, •Woman, Oihn in the daark.' Thin she follows the 
sound av his vice, and begins to ]ionr the watlier on him thru 
the cracks a.v the Hare, thin he rim screechin to the other ind av 
the collar, an she follyin the screechin wid tlie liot wather. Oli ! 
Twas a foine scrimmage they had, he yell in fer mercy an sin* 
axin him ef he’d promise niver to get dhrimk agin. He prom- 
ised; wot's more he kipt his promise, and wos wan av the most 
dacint. respictahle min in those jiarts. Whin he died he had the 
longest fnneril percesshin iver seen in Laake County. 



.)/e A\j/e LiUlc Ca 



'p^in-Pin 




y/A'.\'.\'A.s;vA' o/’ A. I A7‘ corxv')\ 


The Coupling=Pin. 

Wliin th(‘ wa-ay is loiio-, an tlin noinlit is da-ark. 

Whin the stliars nathe the clouds kaix' in. 
Thill away Oi tlirndge. as o-ay as a larlc. 

Wid ni(‘ nate little con])lin-])in. 

'I’he <»-intl(Miion yrasp.'^ a pistol t'oine. 

An the fast chap carries a dirk. 

An the (hide swings on wid his cane in loiiic 
Loike a lordly earl or Turk; 

Ihit iiiv(*r a knoife or a uain for me. 

Oi'd think it a sliamefiil sin. 

'I’o carry such thrill in toys, ye see. 

Instead av nu' conplin-pin. 

Oh! 'tis coinpaiiy foiiie ("m the lomhy road. 

Wid nivera house in soioht. 

WAd nary a sonu' from froi<' or toad 

d'o call thro' the da-ark'niiyn' iioi^'ht: 

It's conijiaiiy foine. as Oi swhino' it loio-ht. 

An say to niesilf: Oh thin 
No man sliall da-are sphakt* roiu>'li to foi^'ht 
For h'a.rav nu' conplin-])in. 



. ; , : r. J V'fiC] 

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